I was a capitalist pig. I’ve been clean 3 years today.
It’s a journey, but I’m doing well. I feel stronger every day and I’m starting to think I’m going to be okay.
Sound strange? Not to me. I had a problem. Here’s how I realised that being a capitalist doesn’t make you happy and how I turned into an unlikely minimalist.
There’s sex addiction, drug addiction, alcohol addiction, gambling addiction, gaming addiction and many more. But, being fixated on the attainment of more and more money, often at the cost of health and happiness, is called capitalism and it seems to be respected.
I’m guilty of it. Or I was. I like nice things even now, but I don’t find anywhere near as much value in them any more.
I stumbled across the means to find value by answering a simple question. Does the work I do every day make the world better, or at least, not make it worse?
I’ve run startups for a few years now, including a wanky members club that wasn’t really my thing. For 5 years I’ve had an average wage of about $400 a week. That’s an income of $20,800 a year. Not really the way most founders go about it. I also have my car paid for — thankfully!
In that time I got engaged to the love of my life, got a dog, travelled to Spain, America, Britain, the Middle East and Bali (An Xmas present from mum). I’ve been lucky enough to drive race cars in Barcelona, attend VIP events, meet billionaires, politicians and world-renowned thought leaders. I’ve had some incredible experiences. But I’ve said no to many things because I haven’t had the money — none of the former were things I could have paid for even if I’d dreamt of it. It was part of my work (wanky members club). Right now I’m trying to figure out how to get to Scotland for one of my best friends 30th’s.
I’m almost 31. I live at home with my parents and incredible fiancé. Admittedly, its not as bad as it sounds; we’re on a different level and have our own space. I tell people I housesit for my globe-trotting parents. They trot, but only for 2 months a year. Which is fine; my parents are pretty wonderful people, though mum and I try not to kill each other on a daily basis. They don’t charge me board; a contribution to my life that has made what I do possible more than perhaps any other thing so far. But that’s it — I don’t even get pocket money!
I’m not in the street, but I’m not living it up.
For 5 years I’ve watched my peers buy houses, get married, have kids, buy nice cars and travel. I may even watch my friend have her birthday in a castle (as you do..). I watched them go to uni and do what they were meant to, following life’s rules at every turn. Some are incredibly intelligent, kind, decent people. In fact, all of them are. In the way we usually measure success, they are all really successful.
I may make it, sure. But I may also be married and broke at 40, living off my teacher husbands salary as I raise two kids we can barely afford. So let’s not get too distracted by the promise of ‘free beer tomorrow’. I’m going to have to change the world before I make any money. Which is where I now draw my value from — the challenge of creating something worthwhile, not from ‘stuff’ and ‘things’.
My job is full of challenges so utterly mind-blowing that my friends get stressed just hearing about them. Actually, they get stressed when the train is late. I don’t get stressed. I don’t get angry. I don’t really do any emotion but varying degrees of happiness. I am the happiest person I know. And its something I’ve really started noticing as the biggest difference between me and others I meet.
I get up every single day thrilled to be alive. I feel rewarded, accomplished, valuable and like I am doing life the best I’ll ever do it. I’m not chasing a dream of a better tomorrow for my own life because the journey is so great I’m just happy to be on it.
Sure I hope to make more than $400 a week. But to be super honest I wouldn’t be unhappy if I didn’t. Not a single bit of value comes from what more money will buy me, except having a place where we can raise kids in a way that means they can be happy. I love fast cars. Like, LOVE them — it’s my ‘white man privilege’ vice and it won’t ever change. In another life I’m a race car driver, I swear. Before I saw the light I wanted to make money so I could buy fast cars, amongst other things. I’ve since learnt that no value comes from buying them. And I mean, isn’t that why one has wealthy friends?
I look at my friends and I envy no single one of them. I am not jealous of their business class flights, their trips around the world or stays in glamorous hotels. I’m not jealous of the lavish parties they have to celebrate milestones. I’m not jealous of any of them because none of them are genuinely happy (sorry guys… but, true). They haven’t had it tough enough to ask themselves what they value when they don’t get a pay rise each year, or a promotion.
They stress about the renovations on their investment property, they complain about their jobs and their partners, or they pretend that everything is fine when you can tell their emotions are held together with nothing but spit and rubber bands. None of this is their fault. They are just capitalists trying to make it according to the rule book of life we follow without question.
Recently I’ve tried understanding how I can be broke, working against impossible odds, wondering how I’ll pay wages, having less money than when I started 5 years ago, being no further ahead by standard measure and yet still be so utterly happy.
I have parents who don’t kick me out (thanks for that — and sorry about the plant I killed during your last trip— who knew it needed water), I have an incredible partner who loves and supports me in ways I can’t possibly convey and I have an awesome dog. That’s literally it, you might think. Or is it?
There’s a freedom in being poor for so long. You learn to find happiness in ways that society doesn’t advertise on billboards. I am free to tackle problems that those only wanting to make money wouldn’t look to solve. By being free from these constraints I found myself free to ask, and answer, “what am I doing here?”. With my work, building a platform to help people navigate the world of money in a way that nobody’s ever seen, and the value I draw from that journey, combined with my family and home life, I feel I have more than I could ever need.
Thanks to 5 years without money, I am happy to report that capitalism can be overcome. One of my lawyer friends once told me he wished he had the courage to do what I do. But he, like most people, won’t ever take the leap. Society doesn’t make it easy, and many don’t even see the problem.
Being clean of this addiction is the best feeling in the world, closely followed by driving a fast car.
